Rain
by Dama do Crime
Summary: Athrun used to like rain. But that was a long time ago.


**First of all, English is not my first language and I couldn't find a beta reader, so if someone is willing to correct any mistakes... **

**This was supposed to be a drabble, but I think it grew to be a oneshot as soon as I wrote the first dialogue. I've always liked Lenore and Athrun's relationship, but since no one seems to write about them, I had to do it myself. But I'm not a good Seed writer. Just can't find the right tone.**

* * *

Athrun used to like rain.

Rain meant warm tea, rain meant family.

He still remembers the first time he saw real rain, young as he was then. He'd gone to Earth with his mother, who needed to do something for work. What exactly that was, he doesn't remember anymore, but he does remember how warm his mother's jacket felt around him as she went out to look for an umbrella. They didn't carry them in PLANTs or in Moon, so it was obvious they'd forgotten. He stood still, looking the raindrops fall and make puddles.

Rain was water. He knew that much even then, so he really couldn't understand why people seemed so afraid of it, running around for cover. His memories get confuse then, but he clearly remembers how close he snuggled against his mother under a big umbrella, slightly unsure of how threatening he found all these noises and movements.

"Mom, from 0 to 10, how dangerous is rain?", he'd asked.

"Generally rain isn't dangerous at all, but if the cities aren't built well, it can make the streets look like rivers.", she said, and he made a mental note of that, "A rain like _this_ is close to 1."

"So why are people afraid of it?", he looked around.

"They're not afraid, Athrun. Why do you say that?"

"Because you see, everyone is running away from it."

She laughed, and he pouted. What was so funny? It was a reasonable question, wasn't it?

"They aren't scared, sweetheart.", she clarified, and he immediately muttered his hate against sweetheart, baby, dear and any other names she called him when she thought he looked 'lovely'. How childish!

"Ok, _Athrun Zala_, is it better?", she tried, and both smiled when he nodded, "So, Athrun Zala, they aren't scared, they just don't want to get wet."

"Why?"

"They don't want to get a 'cold'.", she pronounced the word carefully.

"Cold?", he repeated and she smiled again, proud of his right pronounce, "What is a cold?"

"It's a disease. You can't get it because you're a Coordinator, but Natural's bodies are different, so they shouldn't get wet. Well, of course, unless they're bathing or swimming."

"I know it.", he answered confidently, looking up to her, "Can they get _real_ sick with it?"

"No. Their bodies hurt, and they keep coughing, and have fever… Oh, do you know what a fever is?", he nodded and she looked into his eyes in the way that made him feel so adult, "What a bright little boy I have! So, they feel sick and sometimes they can't get out of bed. Athrun, remember this, if you see someone with a cold, you should give them lemon tea and ask if they usually take some medicine for it, ok? And try to keep them warm."

"Ok. But Mom, if they can't move how is that not real sick? People who can't move are _dying_!"

"Where did you learn that?", he shrugged, unsure, "That's not true. If you see someone who can't move though they're not sleeping, it means they aren't ok…"

"…and I should ask what I can do for them."

"Yes, and you should ask because you're a gentleman. But sometimes they just aren't feeling well. You see, Athrun, human bodies – both Coordinators and Naturals – are able to cure themselves after some time. Generally you get better from cold within a week."

"I still don't trust rain."

She laughed, moving to stroke his hair with her free hand.

"It's not rain's fault, Athrun. Cold is caused by a virus."

"A virus?"

"Yes. A virus is a tiny thing, but I have no idea of how I can explain it better than that, so ask Dad when you send him a message tonight. Either way, rain just makes it easier to the virus to attack your body. And some people actually like colds!"

"Why would they?", he muttered, eyes widening slightly in surprise, "I don't like things that hurt me!"

"No one does, which is why I don't want you near certain boys.", he smiled shyly, picking her veiled remark about one or two troublemaker kids he'd been playing with, "But you see, people get all attention when they're sick."

"I still don't get it.", he protested, with a superior air, "No one needs that much attention."

"As if you don't pretend to have nightmares so that you can sleep with me, you little actor!", she teased.

"You knew?!", he cried, blushing furiously and quickly looking away.

"Yes, and I pretend to be sad whenever we go to PLANTs just so that you and your father get all caring and manly about me. But don't tell him! It's our secret, ok?"

"Ok, I won't tell. What's manly?"

"Means you two try to protect me and show me how strong you really are."

"And am I strong?", he asked, his voice betraying the excitement he was trying to hide.

"Very much! You're handsome, smart, kind, strong and loving. Any girl who marries you will be as happy as I am."

"I'm not going to marry! It'd be embarrassing! But Mom, do people who have a cal—cold… Do people who have a cold sleep with their moms too?"

"Yes, with mom _and_ dad!"

Then they went silent, stillness filled with raindrops and city noises.

"Mom."

"Someone is sure talkative today. What is it?"

"Are we going to PLANTs now? Your work is done, right?"

"Yes. Today your Father won't work for a bit, so I want to make him a surprise."

He smiled brightly, letting go of her and running to stand in the middle of street, forcing some cars to slow down in hope he'd move away. He couldn't care less. Rain. He wanted rain. So he opened his arms and closed his eyes, looking up to the sky.

"Athrun!", she yelped, running after him with all her might and dragging him to the footway.

Then she forced him to stand still under the umbrella, "Apologize now."

"No. I did nothing wrong.", he said with all his confidence, but looking down. Lenore Zala could be extremely scary when angry.

"Apologize to me because you knew you shouldn't run away from me and breaking rules is something I won't let you do. After that we discuss whether or not you were wrong."

"No."

"Athrun. You're not acting like my son. I know you hate apologizing, but you also know I need to be able to trust you when I'm away from home."

"_I did nothing wrong_. Did I get hurt? Did someone else get hurt?"

She knelt down, letting go of the umbrella to put her hands on his shoulder. Both were already wet anyway.

"I get hurt every time I worry about you. Apologize", she said coldly, facing him with a stern look.

"You're not being sensible, Mom."

"Don't copy your father's words when you don't even know what they mean."

"So don't act like him!"

"_Athrun-! _No, I'm not going to discuss with you. You're not acting like an adult, and discussions are only done between adults. So I'm going to keep silent until you decide to apologize."

So she did, locking her eyes on his and not moving a single inch.

"This is unfair…", he started, pouting.

"If I apologize, will you apologize for being scary?", he muttered, trying to avert his eyes and finding himself unable to. She was magnetic when she wanted to.

"Are you angry?", he tried again. No answer.

"Mom?", he whispered, biting his own lips. Then, as if afraid of losing courage, he quickly put his arms around her neck, hiding his face, "I'm sorry.", he whispered shyly, feeling her arms around him.

"It's ok, it's ok.", she patted his back, "Don't you want to look in my eyes and apologize again?", she suggested, and he nodded, backing away.

"I'm sorry I disappointed you.", he repeated, and she caressed his face.

"You're the most wonderful son I could ever want, do you know that? I don't like to scold you either, so what do you think we need to do to solve this as adults?"

"I promise I won't do that again. And you ask me why I did it and try your best to understand and forgive me."

"That's right. Why did you run away? I was so scared; you could've been really hurt if a car hit you."

"I was trying to get a cold. So that I could sleep with you and Dad today. Because I don't know when we'll all be together again…"

He couldn't quite understand what happened then; why she sat on floor, ruining her expensive clothes as her arms went around him with a strength he often forgot she had. Somehow surprised, he let himself be pulled against her.

"Mom, are you scared? Are you sad?", he asked, smiling proudly at her nod, "It's ok Mom. Don't worry, I'm strong, I'll protect you, alright?"

As he felt her grip tighten, he decided that if rain was this, he liked it.

Yes, he liked rain.

* * *

It didn't take a month after that for a technology for artificial rain get developed in PLANTs. And first time it rained, his parents had made sure to be together with him, as he ran past all windows confirming it _was_ raining everywhere.

A new law was created: it would rain in PLANTs twice a year.

As for Zala family, it was less of a rule than a new tradition: the three of them were always to be together on these occasions, even if they'd have to travel because each of them lived in a different place.

And Athrun liked rain even more.

* * *

When Athrun was 14, he had his last "rain meeting", but he didn't remember what it was like at all. He remembered vaguely of a talk about Lacus, and how his mother had said he was starting to look like his father. (A compliment he didn't know if he was happy or annoyed to get, with all highs and lows he was having with his father since he was called back from Moon.)

While he couldn't remember the afternoon, to this day the night was still fresh on his mind. He was, of course, up after his parents were already on the bedroom - which was seldom used. Either he was finishing a school project, a Haro or a letter to Kira, which never got answered. Most likely he was using his school notebooks to write the letter while parts of what would become a robot were all over the table.

"Athrun.", he remembers having heard. He turned around, looking to his Mother in her fancy nightgown that didn't suit her at all.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to take long.", he said with a small smile as she pulled and sat down on a chair by his side. He missed her more than he'd admit. She was the only person who seemed to always know what was going on in his mind now that Kira was no longer an option. No, even back on Copernicus, she was for sure the person who was most like him. And he knew both of them liked it like nothing else.

"I missed you.", she said, and he nodded in understanding.

"So did I.", he answered, because it seemed less cheesy than _me too_.

"Are you too old to hold my hand?", she asked, unsure. This is what he liked about her. She never assumed he was too young or too old for anything just because he was her son.

"If no one is looking, no.", he acknowledged, turning his body towards her and taking both of her hands. "Did something happen, Mother? You wouldn't ask this out of nothing."

"Yes. There's something I want to ask you, Athrun.", she sounded serious, like she often was lately, "I wish you'd get along better with your father."

"I wish he'd at least try to understand me.", he said, looking away. He didn't like to badmouth his father to anyone, especially for his own wife, but it wasn't like he could complain to someone else about PLANTs Chairman, right?

"He tries, Athrun."

"No, he doesn't try at all.", he muttered, surprised to see a hint of hatred on his tone.

"He did what he found was the best for us, to keep us safe, to keep us happy. It wasn't an easy decision to take."

"Oh, I'm sure he had to sacrifice a lot by _not_ moving."

" It's been hard for all of us. Try to understand him if you want to be understood. I believe I've taught you that.", she said, attempting a smile he saw right away as fake.

"This is useless, understanding each other! Can't you see whose fault it is? It's all about this war that everyone's talking about! Why can't Naturals just leave us alone?"

"Don't say that, not even to yourself – e_specially _not to yourself.", she said sternly, and then sighed, "What is happening is no one's fault. And also, we _aren't_ on a war."

"Anyone can see this is where we're heading to."

"Are you worried?", she said instead of answering, and it hurt him that she didn't deny his fear. He tightened his hands around hers, unable to come up with words. She lowered her eyes. "I am, too."

"If a war does come, what am I supposed to do, Mom?"

_Mom_? He didn't call her like this since he was a child. Why suddenly he was so scared? Or rather, why didn't he notice he was scared before? Something about her made it impossible to lie.

"I don't know.", she admitted, looking away much like he often did, "But I trust you'll do the right thing. Because you're a great young man."

He nodded, trying to show a confidence he didn't have.

"Do you still like rain after all these years?", she asked, letting go of one of his hands to brush away a bang that kept falling on his eyes.

"Yes. Do you?"

"A lot. I only get to see our family together when it rains."

"You can see me whenever you want. I'm not my Father."

"He has lots of things to do, it's only natural he's busy. Do you miss him?"

"No. I see my teachers more often than I see him. Can't you at least move to here as well? I could help with your research, developing mechanical systems as you tell me."

"I'll think about it. But right now it's time to sleep.", then she stood up, kissing the top of his head, "Good night, Athrun."

"Good night, Mother."

"Something you want me to tell to your father?"

"Say to him he doesn't deserve you."

"Athrun."

"I'm not going to apologize for that. I won't forgive him for what happened to me and Kira. And much less for letting you come to your own son when you're scared. He's a terrible husband, a meaningless father and a weak politician. I can't respect him."

"He's still a good man.", she said, walking away.

No! He was not! What kind of 'good man' lets his own country get slowly dragged into a war? What kind of man – good or not – could say he loved his family but spend more time working in a single day than meeting his family in months?

"Mother?", he called suddenly. She looked back. "You and Father… Are you like me and Lacus?"

"I love him.", she said plainly.

This was the last time he saw her smiling.

And the last time he liked rain.

* * *

The first raindrops fall outside the orphanage, and he thinks it's ironic that it'd rain while he and Cagalli had found a time off to visit Kira, Lacus and the kids. Because rain was supposed to mean family, which none of them had right now. Orphans. Yes, had he been younger, he would've been just like these children. No parents, home, friends or future.

He lets his eyes wander outdoors, ignoring his own image reflected on the window.

"Oh my!", he hears Lacus say loudly (for her), and then listens to steady steps as she runs towards him. She places her hand softly on his back, as she used to do a long time ago, "It's raining!"

"It is.", he mutters, searching for her eyes. When he finds, they're full of understanding. He doesn't recall telling her about the tradition, but between the years she must've caught some clue. In a sense, she's a bit like his mother. She always knows the right thing to do.

His hand is taken softly by hers and he's pulled back to the living room.

"I like to listen to the rain together with Kira", she says, "Why don't you join us?"

"Sure."

He smiles.

But he wished it was sunny.

* * *

It seems rain is soothing.

Not for him, anyway, but for everyone else. The children are asleep in their bedrooms, and everything seems quieter.

Cagalli is sleeping curled up against him, too tired from running around all day to care about pride. His arm is around her for no reason at all, and he's a little afraid of her reaction when she wakes up. He'll only say it's her fault for sleeping while _sitting_.

Amusingly enough, Kira fell asleep at the exact same time, something that surprised even Lacus. But far less proud, he's lying down on the same couch as the songstress, head on her lap and a rare peaceful smile on his lips. She is stroking his hair so naturally that Athrun has to wonder if they usually do that when it rains. The thought make his mind go to memories he'd rather have forgotten.

"Do you still like rain?", Lacus asks cleverly, her voice with a tenderness that reminds him of his mother.

Does he? He liked how homelike rain felt. Rain, he thinks bitterly, hasn't changed. It's just that now he has no one waiting with a cup of tea. He bits his lips. Not even his father is alive.

His father. The man his mother died loving. Would she love him even know? After all he'd done? Would she still ask him why he'd done that and do her best to understand and forgive, as she'd taught him long ago? That would be impossible. Maybe, just maybe, it was better that she'd died.

But rain was never about his father. Rain was about her. And she was dead. No amount of rain could ever bring her back. No amount of _tears_ could bring her back.

"No.", he answers simply.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Athrun used to like rain. He liked rain because he loved his family. Yes, he used to love rain above everything. But that was a long time ago.

* * *

(Sometimes he wonders if between purple eyes, pink hair and red lips he'll someday be able to find at least a rainbow. A small part of him hopes so, another thinks there's no point in thinking about it and yet another knows even rainbows will eventually disappear. But the largest part of him simply hates everything that comes from rain. He promised he'd never hate a friend again. And if never getting rain or rainbow is the price he has to pay for it... Well, he can always fall in love with sunny days.)

* * *

**Not my best work, but I felt like posting. =D**

**To _asucagafan_: Thank you so much for your review! I'm happy you like my characters! My Lenore was heavily inspired by one of the first Seed fics I read: kuonji's The Fight. (By the way, you should totally check it out!) As for my young Athrun, I got his personality from Torii's CD Dramas. I mean, he had no parents scolding him and he did his _and_ Kira's homework! There's more than one meaning to the "sunny day". You totally got one of them! Also, you could see purple eyes as being Kira's, pink hair as Lacus' and red lips as Cagalli's. Then, sunny days would mean a group of people that is very different of his family, but that he can love the same way. Yet another would be that sunny days are the opposite of rain. If rain is a warm relationship, then a sunny day would be cold loneliness. Once more, thank you very much! I'll try to write more, then! ^^  
**


End file.
